Is Sandra Bernhard a Real Life Poseur? Ex-Manager James Sliman Opens Up About Toxic Relationship

This past July, James Sliman, the former manager of comedian Sandra Bernhard of 11 years, filed a lawsuit in New York's King Country Supreme Court against his former employer. The suit accuses Bernhard of wrongful termination, creating a hostile work environment, theft of services, and instructing him to go along with questionable and unscrupulous things in his work.

Bernhard countered in October with an application to dismiss the case or send it to arbitration, but the court is apparently ignoring her request and has set a hearing for February 6 next year. "When the court does not grant what they want but set a date for February, it means this has to be discussed." Sliman told the Daily Mail on Monday.

For some four decades, Bernhard has specialized in an abrasive comedy style that pokes fun at celebrities and pop culture while embracing it. "Ms. Bernhard embodies the guilty, self-aware narcissist who knows better than to wallow in trash but just can't help herself," wrote the New York Times in reviewing her annual Joe's Pub holiday show in 2015. Her comedy can be rich and layered, but it also can be glib and self-centered. The world according to Sandra can often feel like an exercise in navel-gazing and name-dropping.

Bernhard has never been shy about her sexuality, even capitalizing on it in the late 1980s with rumors of an affair with her (then) bff Madonna. In her personal life she has been with her partner, Sara Switzer, formerly an editor at Harper's Bazaar, for more than two decades. Not long after they met, Bernhard gave birth to her daughter Cicily, whom the couple raised in New York City. In terms of identity politics, she has never taken the role of LGBTQ+ firebrand. Instead choosing to lead by example of being a successful comedian, actress and singer who never hid her sexuality.

Sliman entered Bernhard's employ a decade ago as her publicist, but, as he explains in the interview below, his role soon grew to include manager. For a decade the pair appeared to have a copacetic working relationship, that is until Sliman sued Bernhard for $250,000 this past July and dropped some unflattering details about their relationship. These include unscrupulous business practices on Bernhard's part against venues where she performed, as well as her less-than-flattering opinions of some well-known personalities she claimed as friends.

EDGE reached out to Bernhard's representation via email for comment, but they did not respond.

EDGE: Tell me about how you became involved with Sandra?

James Sliman: I started working for Sandra at the beginning of 2013, as her publicist. In a very short time, I was helping coordinate her live performances. And, within a year I was setting up all her live shows/personal appearances as well as doing publicity. I also served as tour manager, personal assistant, some time travel agent, booked all her hair and make-up, got her clothes from designers, and served as her personal collection agency for any payments due to her.

EDGE: When did you notice these unscrupulous tendencies, as you call them, begin?

James Sliman: A lot of these things fall into the category of her creating a hostile work environment, and this is not something I talk about too much. I did speak with the Daily Mail a few months ago but didn't share all of my story. I thought it might be good to discuss it with LGBTQ+ media outlet, like EDGE.

It started early on and just continued constantly over the years. An example was when she was working with LGBTQ+ charities. She would siphon money from charities. She would say they're lucky to have her, and have me send them an invoice for, say, $1000 for hair & makeup reimbursement, but would use a guy who would charge her only $200. I know because I would book it and the charity would send her the check. If she was getting the check at the event, I would always have to get the check before she went on stage.

There were times when she would even say if she didn't get her check, she wouldn't get on stage. At certain times I'd ask her if she was sure she wanted to do that. "It's a charity!" It was always, "they were so lucky to have me. I should be getting $25,000 for showing up." A lot of these charities didn't have a budget to cover her fee or her needs i.e., grand piano, proper sound system, or whatever else she wanted. So, depending on the charity, she would just host or MC, but told me to inflate the invoice so she could at least walk away with something. She believed that these charities had so much money and that I shouldn't worry about them. I should worry about her. It never stopped for almost 11 years.

She's a very negative person. People don't know the real Sandra, and she will never show it in one of her shows or on her SiriusXM show, "Sandyland." Behind the scenes, it's a completely different story, even when I had to deal with her negative attitude toward some of her celebrity friends and celebrities that she's worked with.

EDGE: How does she feel about some of her celebrity friends?

James Sliman: I would have to listen to her complain about them and say some pretty nasty things. People I'm referring to include Ryan Murphy, Andy Cohen, Isaac Mizrahi, Leah DeLaria, Billy Porter, and Judy Gold,. In public, she calls them her friends but behind closed doors it was a different story.

A few years ago, we attended Bette Midler's, annual Hulaween Ball. It's a big charity event at the Waldorf Astoria for her New York Restoration Project. They asked Sandra to come, but she was pissed off when she heard that Kathy Griffin was brought in as the host. She thought because she had hosted something earlier for Bette that she should have been asked, but she wasn't. From the minute we arrived, Sandra started with her negative comments and then she insisted we leave halfway through the ball. She said that Bette snubbed her on the red carpet and did it intentionally. Same with Kathy Griffin. She complained about everything from where we were seated to Kathy Griffin's routine. Sandra said that she could have done a much better job. I told her that Kathy most likely doing it for free. She responded with, "Oh, believe me, honey, she's getting at least 50 grand for doing this and I should have been up there."

Let's talk about Andy Cohen. Her radio show 'Sandyland' is on Andy's Sirius XM Channel, and she's been on the show for about eight years. She is nice to him in person, but from what she's told me, she only tolerates him. On many occasions, she has told me, and this is a direct quote "he's a greedy motherfucker and has no talent. What is he doing on his show?"' She would refer to "Watch What Happens Live" and especially the CNN New Year's Eve show with Anderson Cooper. He would have her on "WWHL" there about twice a year, and she always hated going on. She didn't want to play any of the games. A lot of them are questions about the Housewives shows because Andy owns all the Housewives shows and he's an executive producer, so he's always cross-promoting.

Then when she heard Andy Cohen bought an $18 million apartment, she got really upset. Once a year, her contract with Sirius XM must be renegotiated and so does Andy as the owner of the channel. He gets a decent bump in funding and then I'm told it's up to him to approve raises for his talent. He does have a few other shows besides Sandra's, but Sandra's is his main talent and every year he refuses to give her a raise, and what he does give her amounts to a few dollars. She would loudly complain to me every year that she was quitting and ask me to step in by contacting management, but then she would always cave in and stay. She was always upset because she said Andy Cohen used to try to get many of the best guests, the A listers, to be on his own show first, and then they could do Sandra's. She tried to get me to help her stop this from happening several times. And she didn't like that Andy got to do the more important "Town Hall" shows on Sirius, which she wanted to do more of. She only really got to do one... with cast members from "Roseanne" when the reboot was airing.

EDGE: Tell us how she felt working with Ryan Murphy and Patti LuPone on 'Pose' and 'American Horror Story?'

James Sliman: She did tell me many times that working with Ryan Murphy was very stressful, but she still did it for obvious reasons. Ryan Murphy was a big fan of hers. He would come on her radio show and gush about how much he loves her and has been a fan of hers since college, so he started giving her some roles in his shows. She was finally hired to appear on one episode of "Pose" and then for the second season, he brought her in to do six or seven episodes. For the third season, she was supposed to work the entire season, but it only turned out to be six or seven episodes again. When that happened, she got pissed because she signs a contract and would now only get paid based on how many episodes she did. She would call me to complain about her character because it was not the character that was originally presented to her. The script would change all the time, and she was upset because Ryan himself wasn't that involved. He would leave it up to the writers. He presented the character one way to Sandra but let the writers do whatever they wanted.

At the time Sandra was hired to appear on "Pose" and then "American Horror Story: NYC," she didn't know until later that Patti was also hired. She knew Patti was going to get all the attention, and that bothered her. She was also bothered that Patti got to sing a few songs in the shows - "Fever" by Peggy Lee and "Calling You" by Holly Cole and "I'm Still Here." Sandra got to do her Prince song but was overshadowed. She respects Patti LuPone, but it bothered her.

She would get really upset at all the delays in scheduling and shooting involved with Ryan Murphy's shows because we were always having to delay her live shows around the country or be on hold for many weeks at a time while she waited on the Ryan Murphy people. She always wanted that extra money coming in and this made it difficult. Then, in the last couple of years, Ryan Murphy finally agreed to develop a live performance special with her. They talked/ He seemed excited. She even had me help in scouting theaters and clubs as locations. She went with Ryan's producers to look at some places. Within two months Ryan just lost interest or was busy with other shows and that was it. She was pissed.

EDGE: Do you believe that any of her celebrity friends are going to be surprised at how she feels about them?

James Sliman: I do because she's very good at putting on a show for people. I think very few people know how, in my opinion, how angry or envious she gets at other people's talent or success. And again, that's my opinion based on 11 years with her. I don't think Isaac Mizrahi, Andy Cohen, or Billy Porter know this other side of her. The only other cast members on "Pose" that she had anything good to say about was Michaela Jaé Rodriguez. I think these people are going to be surprised. Over and over, I've heard her say things about people, and then she makes me interact with them on her behalf, knowing (I knew) how she feels about them.

EDGE: How does she feel about Billy Porter?

James Sliman: Sandra thought his song "The Man That Got Away" on "Pose" was horrible. She felt that elaborate performance was a waste of production dollars. She always felt that he can't sing, going back to a showcase we did at 54 Below some years ago that Billy was also performing at. She thought he was really bad. Same with Judy Gold, who was also on the bill that night. Now they're close friends. As recently spring of this year Billy Porter wanted to come on her radio show on SiriusXM, but she told her producer to lie and tell him there was a scheduling issue, so she couldn't have him on. She told me she thought he was a boring guest and had been on enough in the past.

EDGE: Has it come to a point yet where other celebrities, businesses, or venues just stop doing business with her?

James Sliman: Since I started working with her, I've had many people tell me what a difficult person she is or what a bitch she is. Many people can't believe that I stayed with her lasted that long. How do you work with this person? Nobody's ever stuck it out with her. Here we are it's been 11 years and people are amazed at how I've been able to do that. When it's discussed with her, her reputation being difficult, she always says, "Oh, well, it's because I'm a woman. If I wasn't a woman, they wouldn't say this. If I was a guy, nobody would say a word." The first few times I thought, "Okay, I can buy that given today's society." But in all honestly, it doesn't matter if she is a female or male, it has to do with what kind of person she is. She is just a difficult person, period!

What started this wedge between her and me was, late in 2022, some venues around the country were not happy about very poor advance ticket sales. Some even asked me to cancel the shows. We always had a contract, so they couldn't cancel. So, she'd do the shows with a small audience, and they would still pay her. But some venues lost their shirts. When I tried to talk with her about it, and she always asked me to be open and honest with her, she blamed it on the venue every time. When I explained to her that what she was saying was not true, she would accuse me of "not protecting her" and "siding with the venue." Well, when this happens enough times, many of the venues all talk with each other, and they are certainly not going to ask her back.

EDGE: Do you fear any backlash for yourself or your PR firm?

James Sliman: No, and I'll tell you why because I've been at this for so long. The great thing about getting older is I'm not out there trying to make a name for myself like a 30-year-old publicist or manager might do. I'm not trying to map out a career for myself, I've done all that.

I am at an age where it doesn't matter. Another good thing about getting older is you can say and do pretty much whatever you want, as long as what you say is true.

Even though it's a different world now with social media. ... But no, I'm not worried about any form of backlash. My clients and my work come from personal referrals. I'm not out there chasing after TV stars or anyone else to hire me.

That's how I started with Sandra. A friend of mine was working with her in a management capacity back in 2012 and asked me to do some press for her. He bailed after just three or four months with this woman.

EDGE: Whether it be in court or the court of public opinion, what are you hoping for your outcome to be?

James Sliman: What has bothered me about Sandra over the years is the way she treats the people who work for her. The way she treats the behind-the-scenes people who work for her ... whether you're an agent, a publicist, or a manager.

In my opinion, based on 11 years of experience with her, I'm convinced she resents having to pay people for their services, whatever they do, she thinks everybody should work for her for free because she's Sandra Bernhard - the big star. I believe that she has had that sense of entitlement for a long time. I've witnessed first-hand how she treats the behind-the-scenes people. I've allowed her to manipulate me into situations where I had to fire the person or threaten to fire people. It all happens on a whim, especially if she feels someone is not bringing in enough money for her, or if she thinks someone's not treating her right. She can be very deceitful and lie. Again, this is based on my first-hand experience. She can be very deceitful about things and will play different representatives against each other. She'll tell one person one thing and she'll be nice and kissy to their face and then behind their back, she's talking to someone else about them.

She must know these people will eventually get together and talk. She refuses to acknowledge some of the unwritten rules in the entertainment business. There are protocols you must follow regarding how you treat people, especially the ones that can make and build your career. She doesn't agree with those protocols, and she certainly doesn't follow them. She doesn't care how hurtful she can be with her words or actions. As for the outcome, I hope she can learn a lesson this time because somebody took legal action against her, and it is time for her to change her ways.

I will say this, Sandra Bernhard is hands-down the cheapest celebrity/performer I have ever met in my 45 years of doing this. It's embarrassing but she doesn't seem to care. She eats, breathes, and sleeps money. It seems to run in her veins. That's all she cares about, and it's even evident in much of the material in her shows. No class whatsoever!

EDGE: What have you learned about yourself throughout this process?

James Sliman: I have to stop trusting people and believe their false promises. I thought she was different than so many much bigger celebrities I've worked with in my life. Maybe it's because she and I are both gay, and I've always enjoyed her act. My intention was always to try and help her and I did. She was playing shitty venues for very low fees when I started with her. I'm not sure how her career went downhill like that, but it did.

Now, my feeling is she was using me and being a phony to me during my tenure with her. What have I learned is that I need to start being as tough as other people, even though it is not in my nature. I'm basically just a nice, easy-going, and funny guy. I have a great sense of humor. I make jokes out of everything. Until someone blatantly fucks me over and, in this case, wastes years of my life. There are genuinely nice celebrities and rock stars out there I've worked for, but she's not one of them. I found that out too late.

EDGE: Is there anything else that you would like to add?

James Sliman: Venues always asked me if Sandra was now doing a "new" show.

She had this system where she would work a new show at Joe's Pub in NYC every year, it was her holiday show. Then, that's the show she would do throughout the coming New Year.

But, at this point in her career, it became harder and harder for her to write new material and put a new show together. For quite a few years now, her shows have the same material just rehashed. I've talked to her on many occasions about hiring some writers to get some fresh material and she thinks writers are useless and then, of course, she'd have to pay them.

In my opinion, who wants to pay $100 or more to see a 70-year-old woman in an ill-fitting cocktail dress singing cover songs off-key? I refuse to believe that anyone pays money to come hear her sing. They come for the wit and comedy, which is still there some of the time.

Also, regarding all the LGBTQ+ charities and causes, in my opinion, the spirit and the heart to call herself an "activist." I think Jane Fonda and Susan Sarandon have been true activists. Sandra will just post things on her social media and think that makes her an activist. She doesn't put herself out there in the trenches. Jane Fonda has been arrested by the police. I believe Susan Sarandon has also been arrested for protesting. You will never find Sandra doing something to get herself arrested because the idea of spending even a few hours in a dirty jail cell with germs and other people and non-organic food is beneath her. She'd rather post and stay home.

If she is asked to host, present, or perform, her attitude is they're lucky to get her, and she takes advantage of them. For example, earlier this year in Miami, for Miami Beach Pride, there was a lot of attention on Miami Beach Pride, when South Florida's new law came out that if you get caught with your underage children at a drag show you will be arrested, even if they're your children.

That week, the town was taken over by drag queens. It was very intense and a lot of the events got canceled. Everybody was nervous. I got Sandra a paid gig to come down there and she was supposed to host their closing night event. It was being held at a huge outdoor venue, and she almost didn't go because she got sick. I flew down a day and a half early because I will not travel with this woman. I had to switch her flight three times because she was so sick. She got there and hated the hotel. She wanted me to try to get them to move her to another hotel. We had already switched her flight three times to accommodate her, and they had one of their production people pick her up at the airport and taking care of her every need. She was still bitching and complaining.

A lot of the people working as volunteers for Miami Beach Pride were super nice people. They assigned a driver to us, this super sweet woman, Melba, and, Sandra started sending her on personal errands; and this girl hadn't slept in like three nights because she was driving nonstop for the event. Sandra got pissed because they didn't write up a proper script for her, and they didn't have the proper teleprompter that she wanted. Low budget and all. But I did get her a $25,000 fee. Melba, who was a volunteer, spent so much time on us that I asked Sandra to kick-in a little money so we could give her something when we left. Sandra refused.

The day of her event Sandra refused to come out of her dressing room until they were ready for her. She took the script they wrote for her and she said, I'm not doing all this. They didn't pay me to do all this - introductions from the stage, introducing some of the local political people, and some of the corporate donors. She said all I'm supposed to do is come out and introduce the drag performers and say a few words about pride. She said she was only going to make two trips to the stage not the five or six that they had planned. When she finally did get on stage, she cut her speech in half and when she came back, she said, "Get the check, and get me the fuck out of here. Let's go back to the hotel."

This is the attitude she displayed at many of these charity events we did. In my opinion, if she cared about the LGBTQ+ community, especially at that particular time in Florida, she would have been a trooper and just did everything she was paid to do, and maybe a few extras. I was disappointed in her conduct. I understand people get sick, but that's just one example of her lack of concern for the LGBTQ+ community. She only shows up for the little bit of money she can make and never for the cause. In my opinion, she is not an LGBTQ icon. She is just someone who took advantage of opportunities that came her way.

EDGE: What do you believe Sandra's reaction to this interview will be?

James Sliman: I don't care at this point. I know she's going to cause whatever trouble she can for me, but in the end, it's not going to matter. I'm not afraid of getting in legal trouble or financial trouble because I have not defamed her. I have not slandered her in any way. Everything I'm saying is true based on my own first-hand experience. I am telling the truth, and she is a public person. As a celebrity, sometimes you have to sacrifice your private life. I am not making this stuff up. If I was lying and said things that were not true, then I would get in trouble. Everything I have said in this interview is my opinion, based on what I've seen and heard during my 11 years working with her. And it's all true. I am sorry if it upsets any of her fans.