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Holy Strokes! Celebrating Semen's Spiritual History

by Jim Gladstone

EDGE Media Network Contributor

Saturday July 10, 2021
Originally published on July 6, 2021

Holy Strokes! Celebrating Semen's Spiritual History
  (Source:Getty Images)

Shout "Hallelujah!": Today's proud gay men can embrace a healthy balance of sensuality and spirituality that doesn't relegate them to the Church of the Poison Mind.

Psychologists, medical professionals, liberal clerics, and the makers of male libido- and orgasm-enhancing supplements have all spoken openly about the value of fulfilling sex lives to the physical, spiritual, and emotional well-being of queer men. In fact, VitaliBoost — the supplement company behind Drive Boost and Load Boost — even refers to the combination of their two leading products as "The Holy Grail of Sex."

Our relationship with semen is as old as Adam's romp in the Garden of Eden. Even so, you've likely come across more than one bedfellow who's dashed for the hand towel as if evidence of a crime — or sin! — needed speedy terrycloth exorcism.

(Source: Getty Images)

It's time to brush up on the historical intermingling of semen and spirituality to counter such incidents of self-righteous discomfort. Next time you encounter finger-wagging ejacuphobic scorn — whether it comes from a pastor, a parent, or a partner — whip out some of these fun facts:

  • In ancient Sumerian mythology, the Tigris and Euphrates rivers were created by the fervent masturbation and copious ejaculation of the god Enki.

  • A gnostic fourth-century Christian sect called the Phibionites claimed that a post-resurrection Jesus drank his own semen and was rumored to have adopted the practice as part of their own Eucharist. (Bonus: This ritual was chronicled by Saint Epiphanius, then the bishop of a town in Cyprus named — wait for it! — Salamis.)

  • The Etoro tribe of Papua, New Guinea, believes that semen contains the essence of leadership. Young men are required to fellate their elders to ingest their powers and authority for the next generation.

  • In Egyptian mythology, the god Seth and his nephew Horus battled for supremacy in a series of bouts, including a battle for anal sex dominance, the use of cum as a secret ingredient in salad dressing, and talking semen that transforms into a golden crown.

  • Japan's origin story tells of the country's islands being formed from the bubbling semen of the god Izanagi.

  • Many religions include the ceremonial anointment of practitioners with holy oils, a ritual which some scholars suggest descends from pre-Judeo Christian shamans and medicine men who used semen as a mystic salve.

  • Even among Hindu and Buddhist sects in which resisting ejaculation has been considered a holy practice, this was never because semen was viewed as a source of shame or disgust but because semen was considered a precious life force, used within the body to build keen intellect and spiritual vigor — and a limited resource.

  • (Source: VitaliBoost)

    Today, though, with the help of Load Boost, limits have been lifted. There's no need to hold back on carnal bliss to cultivate your spiritual side. The proprietary combination of active ingredients — including pygeum, saw palmetto, zinc, and selenium — has been shown to increase the volume of men's semen production. Medical professionals agree that this organic supplement, produced only in FDA-registered facilities, can help keep your spirit flowing.

    And if you combine Load Boost with Drive Boost (made with tongkat ali, a shrub used throughout southeast Asia to enhance men's libido, and maca, a Peruvian relative of broccoli used as a natural regimen for both erectile dysfunction and endurance), you can help keep your energy up through revival after revival. At the second coming, you'll be just getting started!

    Learn more about Load Boost, Drive Boost, and other doctor-curated men's supplements at www.vitaliboost.com.

    Jim Gladstone is a San Francisco-based writer and creative strategist.